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Ninth Planet

from Intergalactic by Jeff Michaels

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about

There’s so much blood on my hands from over the eons.

Leaving was brutal, many humans died but it was imperative that no harm come to Sylvania or damage to our vessel. Nothing like a death ray to keep things real.

Our initial plan is to make it to the space station on the tiny satellite orbiting Jupiter known as Adrastea, so we can then fuel and jump to what people of Earth refer to as the ‘Ninth Planet’, but is actually the eleventh planet.

It’s far too dangerous to attempt to use any type of FTL drive within the confines of a solar system, beams of photons are one thing; the unbelievable amount of sheer force of a physical ship achieving FTL near planets and moons is enough to possibly disrupt gravitational forces on a planetary and solar level, which can then have devastating effects on a galactic level. FTL is used to cross vast swaths of interstellar space, avoiding black holes and keeping parsec rupture and ripple to an absolute minimum. Most black holes came from beings achieving FTL too close to a star. Impulse drive, about 10% of FTL, is typically used safely around planetary objects without creating gravitational ripples. It's still much better than the speed of sound, 0.00011441% of FTL, but still, it hooks and books.

I thought it was beyond amusing that several prominent human scientists had begun to develop a working theory based on the argument of perihelion and its relevance to trans-Neptunian objects to determine the need for an undiscovered ‘Ninth Planet’. Several humanoids had come a very long way from their days as cave dwellers. The scientists were drunk and having fun when they accidently began to figure it out, but far too few and far too late. I liked those guys.

Next stop, Adrastea.

lyrics

I read the stories
of the theory of a planet
that orbits our sun
out past neptune
they did the math
they checked it several times
as they hypothesized
drunk all afternoon

and they don't know if it's out there
but it explains a lot
praying that there's somewhere else
is really all I've got

they discussed flinging a can out to the stars
to research
trans-neptunian objects
and they noted it's inclination
and it's eccentricity
via the argument
of perihelion

and they don't know if it's out there
but it explains a lot
praying that there's somewhere else
is really
all I've got

oh I read the articles of the theory of a ninth planet (sorry Pluto)
that orbits our sun
out past neptune
they did the the math
they checked it several times
drunk our of their minds
all afternoon

credits

from Intergalactic, released October 29, 2021

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Jeff Michaels Austin, Texas

beautifully explosive electricity for the discerning psychopath

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